The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving, by Rundy Purdy
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The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving, by Rundy Purdy
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When Rundy Purdy was twenty-four he began caring for his grandfather who was sick with Alzheimer's. This started a three year battle against inevitable decline, a journey across confused days and long nights. With compassion, hope, and a strong dose of gritty realism, The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving tells the story of how a grandfather and his grandson crossed the wide sea of Alzheimer's. It is a tale of losses, but even more of things found in spite of what is lost. It is about giving bedtime stories, hugs, and a lot of coffee. It is a story of laughter even in the presence of sadness. The sea of Alzheimer's is wide, but it can be crossed. In writing that is by turns uplifting and poignant, Rundy shares his journey of perseverance and love. "I laughed and cried my way through [...] it echoed things I went through with my mother and her dementia." - Alice Janice, Caregiver
The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving, by Rundy Purdy- Amazon Sales Rank: #881682 in Books
- Published on: 2015-05-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .88" w x 6.00" l, 1.13 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 350 pages
About the Author When Rundy Purdy was twenty-four years old he began caring for his grandfather who was dying from Alzheimer’s. Grandfather and grandson took a three year journey together to Alzheimer’s end. Rundy’s book The Sea is Wide: A Memoir of Caregiving is the story of that journey. After the death of his grandfather, Rundy cared for his grandmother who was ailing with heart disease for an additional five years. Those eight years of intensive, personal, caregiving gave Rundy a passion for sharing his experience and encouraging other who face the reality of caregiving.
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Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful. A young man's very personal memoir about care-giving By Y. Cunnington My father had Alzheimer's disease and my mother was his caregiver for about 15 years, so I have first-hand experience with the disease. Although I have not read many Alzheimer's care-giving memoirs, I feel that Rundy has accurately captured the ups and downs of his own and his grandparents' struggle to cope with the toll this disease takes. It is also the story of a young man's love and compassion for his elders.Rundy relates the story about how in his early 20s he moves into his grandparents' home to take care of his grandfather. His grandmother is not well enough to care for her husband herself, and given her personality and her own considerable health problems, it made sense for the grandfather to have a male caregiver. This in itself is highly unusual, as very few young men are prepared to sacrifice part of their youth to take care of an elderly relative.The author's profound insights into how an Alzheimer's patient actually feels are invaluable. Even those of us with personal knowledge of the disease sometimes want to think that the patient doesn't really know what's going on. But Rundy shows that they do and that they experience a great deal of frustration through many losses of dignity, but especially the loss of purpose and the ability to live independently.And that, of course, emphasizes the importance of good care – not just good care, but loving care. The author's insights into his own struggles to cope with the progressive decline that he witnesses, and how he responds through the months and years of care are most impressive in someone so young. He was able to cope with the messy stuff – the problems of toileting that we all dread are dealt with in detail. In this case, the loss of dignity was a difficult issue between the grandfather and his wife, and she would not have coped well with the bathroom problems.Throughout the book, Rundy Purdy emphasizes again and again the need for patience, and also to listen and watch carefully to discover how to fill the patient's needs. He also addresses the importance of meeting his own needs while still being the primary care-giver. The issues discussed were repetitive, and I felt that, in the end, this made terrific sense: through the level of detail that he provides, the author accurately portrays the very real challenges a family caregiver faces. Ultimately, though, this a story of love and deep caring. Although it is a memoir and not a how-to book, the author shares many ideas that other family care-givers may find helpful and inspiring.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. Thank you for this honest look at caregiving! By cynthia This is my second reading of this book. The first reading was before I became a caregiver. Although I was a fairly certain that I would become a caregiver to my dad, I remember reading about the daily struggles over bathroom issues, garbled communication, and other humorous and not so humorous events and thought - really?! Now that I am a 24/7 caregiver, I am re-reading this book with a clearer perspective of the journey that is before me. I can't thank Mr. Purdy enough for putting forth this honest and genuine account of how he and his grandfather traversed the rocky Alzheimer's trail because I am now living these same day to day events. Some issues I meet with a smile of remembrance from having read about them in this memoir. Other times, I've learned to forgive myself for the times I've been impatient and rushed.One particular paragraph struck me as so very important for any caregiver to remember:"For all of the troubles Grandpa daily endured it was striking how I could still largely interact with him like a normal person. He was often a very confused old man, but he was still self-aware, and largely cognizant that he was sick and failing. The better half of his mind was trying to deal with it. The better half of his mind reached out to me and together we tried to deal with it."So just what has Mr. Purdy done in his memoir? He has shown the reader just how he and his grandfather dealt with this devastating disease. "The sea of Alzheimer's is wide, but it can be crossed." And so, my dad and I are crossing with hope!
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful. ... laugh and cry with Rundy as he recounts the good days and bad during his caregiving years with his ... By Gwyn R. You will laugh and cry with Rundy as he recounts the good days and bad during his caregiving years with his Grandpa. I admired his constant attention to Grandpa’s dignity and his selfless determination to keep him at home where he felt the most comfortable until the end. While I could not relate to the specifics of this disease, I could relate to the joys and frustrations of being a caregiver to an elderly family member. It is encouraging to realize that you are not alone in what you are feeling and experiencing, and that your feelings, as well as those of the person you are caring for, are quite normal. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been or is currently in a caregiver role.
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